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Trying to get a little quiet time in, but apparently my kids have… - JeN in WoNderLaNd [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
JeN in WoNderLaNd

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[Feb. 13th, 2015|02:30 pm]
JeN in WoNderLaNd
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Trying to get a little quiet time in, but apparently my kids have other plans. It makes me feel selfish and the mother guilt is kicking in, but I need to re-charge and find my balance. I keep trying, but am faced with constant interruptions mainly from M. I'd like to spend some time with her before work, but not with the way I'm feeling right now. Just feeling irritable for no real reason and tired despite going to bed a bit earlier last night. I pretty much never get a solid sleep as I usually wake up to the kids at least two or three times a night. And then once they're up in the morning and S. is getting ready for work, the last hour or so of my sleep is interrupted by noise if I can still sleep. I also can recall having 4 dreams last night and wonder if that contributes to me feeling more tired? I read an article about lucid dreaming and remembering dreams last night, and it's been awhile since I've remembered my dreams aside from remembering the 4 last night. I didn't do anything specifically to try to remember them, but maybe my awareness of my dreams increased just from reading the article. One of those dreams was "prophetic", to use the term loosely in a way and I was reminded of the dream during the day by randomly coming across a reference to my dream. It feels strange when that happens. It happens every once in a while, but generally the references aren't anything significant; just something out of the blue. Maybe there's some symbolic meaning to it in the dream though? I started a dream journal today using an app I just downloaded (Dream Journal Pro); it's supposed to help find meanings and themes to your dreams and help you to explore them- and it was very reasonably priced. I have written dreams down in the past, but I think this app may be more useful.
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[User Picture]From: twirl_madly
2015-02-15 08:46 am (UTC)
I totally understand what you mean by "prophetic" moments in your dreams. I call them de ja vu moments, and simply move on not thinking much about them. I wonder if I actually paid attention what themes I might find.

I hope you feel better about the situation with the kids. Mommy guilt is not easily dealt with, so I hear, but you have to remind yourself that you can't be perfect. Even if you're not perfect, I'm sure they'll turn out great with a mother who cares enough to even HAVE Mommy Guilt.

Sleep well
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[User Picture]From: sinikalragdoll
2015-02-18 03:52 pm (UTC)
thanks!
I haven't paid much attention to my dreams in awhile, but I think now that I'm freed up from nursing obligations, I'm able to pay more attention to things I've been interested in. The deja vu/prophetic dream had to do with being pursued and I had another dream about being pursued last night, but don't remember the details. I think it might be related to anxiety, which makes sense because I had some trouble sleeping last night and found myself thinking about worrisome things. Interesting how our brains work!
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